THE MAKING AND BREAKING OF AFFECTIONAL BONDS

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The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds by John Bowlby
(Name)
(Institutional Affiliation)
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The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds by John Bowlby
Brief Overview
The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds by John Bowlby is a book that
includes several lectures by the author over a period of time of about 20 years. Bowlby, a
psychoanalyst, maintains that personality development has roots in infancy and
childhood. While the book covers several issues, the central subject of discussion
remains the formation and breaking of affectional bonds that a child shares with his
primary caregiver, usually his mother. Bowlby coins the term affectional bond to refer to
the attachment of two people, usually a mother and her child.
It is the mother who is the point and source of security and stability in a child’s
life. Understandably so, when the child is separated from his mother, anxiety is
experienced, and the child searches for his or her mother. The same trend is seen later on
in life as adults seek secure relationships that provide a source of security. The child’s
attachment may be of three types: secure, resistant, and avoidant. The affectional bonds
and behavious would be dependent on the type of care received and amount of separation
from the mother.
Bowlby argues his case for psychoanalysis and draws references and examples
from evolutionary biology, anthropology, cognitive science, etymology, and from his
observation of interaction between children and their caregivers. Infants become attached
to mothers who are sensitive to their needs and respond to them. As an infant begins to
grow, he or she explores his or her environment and returns to the secure base of his or
her mother. The child experiences ambivalence when he or she feels insecure. This may
be projected in dreams, and the manner in which the ambivalence is regulated will affect
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his personality development. Psychopathology is based on the inability to regulate
ambivalence and conflict.
The affectional bonds theory focuses on the manner in which the care and security
provided to an infant and a child affects his or her growth and development as a person.
It has a positive approach to how parents can help their children grow into socially
functional individuals. Bowlby focuses on friendly but firm intervention when a certain
behaviour or action is to be stopped. This not only models an acceptable behaviour and
way of approaching a situation but also avoids the anger and bitterness that accompany
conflicts. It shows the child that conflicts can be resolved without getting angry. Guilt
felt by a parent may make him intolerant toward his child when it comes to the same
behaviour or attitude.
Personal Reaction
A man or woman’s behaviour as a parent is also rooted in his or her affectional
bonds formed as a child. Thus, a mother who lacked parental attention in her childhood
may feel the need to overcompensate and “possess” the love of her child. The affectional
bonds theory can be used not only in examining or studying the behaviour of children but
also that of adults. It helps them recognise trends that need to be changed.
According to Bowlby (2005), mother-child separation worsens the conflict of
ambivalence. It is important for a child to be able to express him or herself openly and
share his or her feelings of jealousy and other hostile feelings. Bowlby’s work can be
used as a guideline for parents when interacting with their child. He takes into account
the physical and emotional development of a child and how parents need to respond to it
to facilitate optimal emotional growth. 
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He focuses on the positive impact in the form of social functioning in young
adulthood due to both maternal and paternal attention. He emphasises that it is important
for a mother to provide a strong and secure base that is consistent and that it is also vital
for a father to play and explore with a child. The child thrives best when both the mother
and father combine their resources. When a child grows in a balanced family
environment, he or she is able to control his or her libidinal impulses in an effective
manner. Thus, when a child grows up with little attention and interaction with his or her
parents, it is likely that he or she will be unable to control his or her basic libidinal
cravings in an acceptable manner and may be selfish and greedy.
Bowlby also identifies sensitive phases when it is important to ensure that the
child receives the right kind of attention and feels secure. Bowlby states that a child’s
affectional bonds with his parents affect the affectional bonds he or she forms as an adult.
Any disruption in the affectional bonds between a child and a parent affects the romantic,
marital